An update on life

As my last post mentioned it’s been busy the last couple of months. So, in an attempt to get back into writing here’s a quick update on what I’ve been up to recently and things that have happened.

I picked up a few odd jobs over the summer, one of which included working at the Printers Row Lit Fest in Chicago. The upside to working something like this? I got to meet Andrew Zimmern, who I found out actually teaches a course at one of the local culinary schools. (amazing)

Andrew Zimmern

I took a couple of out-of-state trips to the beach. Because sometimes you just need a change of scenery, and because sometimes you can’t actually get away from work long enough to GO on a real vacation. Indiana dunes, I heart you.

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There was the 45th Annual Gay Pride Parade, to which I was able to drag a friend out of his home at an unreasonable time on a Sunday. He didn’t really seem to mind once we started drinking with breakfast though, so I think we’re ok! I’ve only missed, maybe, two parades since my first one in 2001. I cannot express how much it means to me to go and show my support. But again, who doesn’t mind drinking with breakfast? Afterwards we did some sunset swimming in my friends pool so that didn’t hurt either.

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Oh, and I ran a 5k, well if we’re being honest I walked most of it, but there was some serious sprinting going on that night.

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Because yes, it was at night… and we were covered in glow in the dark powder and glow sticks by the time we walked out of that place. It was a pretty awesome time and I will have to admit that 5ks aren’t so bad.

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I did a lot of baking, both for fun and even for a little cash. I’m thinking about taking a course that Michael’s provides, it’s a 4 part course and I’ve never been able to catch them at the beginning. Until now, I was in there the other day and noticed a table display with the kits and booklets. Session 1 starts in October! Maybe I’ll finally learn how to make butter cream and decorate with something other than the rose tip. 😉

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I’ve spent loads of time in the city! My closest friend lives in the heart of things so there’s a lot of downtown wandering going on. And some amazing people watching. I hope to be spending more time there in the next coming months as I’m preparing to move, somewhere.

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Did I mention that I was selling some cupcakes? 🙂

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Other than that… I’ve been working. A Lot. I picked up a second job (part-time) as a hostess near work. I’ve also decided to start working towards my SFDC Admin Certification. Still single, and dateless as ever. HA! Still writing for Secret Lives of Chicago Singles, although we’re making a move and expanding a bit. So we’re going from SLCS to The Daily Urbanista! Super excited for that to get off the ground, maybe not so much getting it off of the ground though. We’ve actually built quite a bit considering we were all strangers to begin with, and we have quite a few guest contributors, including one that’s writing from Europe! In addition to that I’ve also decided to put together a podcast with someone, also revolving around relationships. Hopefully that will do just as well as SLCS.

And there you have it… That’s me in a nut shell. Still waiting to see what the Fall has in stored for me.

Miss Eloisa Signature

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He’s Out There Somewhere

My dad’s birthday is coming up, Wednesday actually… and I don’t remember the last time we spoke. In fact I still don’t know where he lives, his life is all a mystery to me now. I think of him from time to time, rarely though, but still. He’s my dad, ya know?

166374_1707012605995_3240285_nI’m somewhat envious of the fact that my brothers still have some sort of relationship with him, even if they’re in the dark almost as much as I am. There’s still a chance for them to build on that. It’ll be a while until I have that opportunity, or before I even decide that I want that opportunity. I don’t really know how everything spiraled the way that it did, although in retrospect it’s best for everything that things ended the way that they did.

There are still many pieces to pick up and wounds to mend, but I’m getting there.

It’s hard to think that I went from being a daddy’s girl to being daddy’s black sheep.

Happy Birthday Dad.

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Door to Door Sales Woman?

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The office had a big St. Patrick’s day pot luck, the week before one of the ladies that usually helps set these type of events came looking for me with a “delicious” recipe. I’ve built a bit of a reputation for myself in the office as being able to make really good cheesecakes, among a few other things, so she thought it’d be a good idea for me to bring something in. I was actually debating on whether or not I wanted to, but more if I would have the money and time to do it considering things aren’t all rosy on my end. She’s pretty persuasive, so I said I’d think about it.

I don’t mind baking for work, I actually like it but what I don’t like is being pressured into doing it. So Saturday afternoon I ended up at the grocery store picking up supplies for a new recipe (not the one she suggested though, because really it didn’t sound all that good to me! lol). Needless to say I didn’t end up taking any thing in on Monday morning because I had some technical difficulties. Instead, I brought it in on Wednesday, I altered the recipe a bit since St. Patrick’s day had passed. Originally it was supposed to be a green mint flavored cheesecake, I’m personally not a fan of mint flavors so I left that out. I did, however, have some Bailey’s coffee creamer left over from the Guinness cake I made earlier this month.

I’ve always gotten compliments on things that I’ve brought in and I’ve had several people suggest that I open my own business and after a few years I think I’m going to do it. There’s a lot to do still but I have always wanted to open my own business, I just thought it would be a catering business first. The BFF and I have been talking about this the last couple of days and I just need to make sure that I don’t let all of the official things hold me back. Which is very possible, lol one of my biggest fears is failure and I really am my own worst critic. I’ve mentioned that before somewhere in this blog, but hey check out the “food” category and take a look at what I’ve done before. (^_~)

My challenge right now is figuring out how to price this thing, I don’t want to under-estimate the costs but I also don’t want to ask for too much. I’m letting this be my big problem, I think if I start to think about everything else that I have to do I’ll freak myself out. We’ll see how this all turns out…

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Colgate Optic White – For Your Teeth Whitening Needs

Influenster sent me another voxbox, this time it was for a Colgate Optic White toothbrush with a whitening pen. I unfortunately was not blessed withwpid-20140311_222737.jpg pearly whites so I’ve been using “whitening” toothpaste for ages. Although nothing really seems to have worked so far, and I’ve tried a lot of different things! I’ve even done some home remedies – which I’ve learned can really just be a bunch of hogwash.

A couple of months back I tried one of those Do-It-Yourself whitening trays… pretty sure the only thing that came out of that was a sore mouth. Anyhow, I received this toothbrush in the mail and after putting it off for a bit I decided to swap it out with my old toothbrush.

The brush itself is nice, it has different sized bristles that I can only assume serve their own special purpose. It is a bit big though, but I have smaller features so that might just be me, on the bright side I didn’t smash the brush into my jaw as I have an awesome way of doing. It was a bit stiff at first but it became more comfortable with use.

wpid-20140311_222817.jpgThe pen itself was kind of odd, it says that you don’t have to rinse or anything but I’m not sure why you don’t. You’re putting paste on your teeth which leaves your mouth feeling gritty, not to mention it makes your mouth water. So while you may not have to rinse or spit it out, you’ll end up doing so anyway otherwise you just have gunk in your mouth and that can be a tad uncomfortable for a bit.

I will say this… it does seem to be working, which is awesome. Plus it’s pretty simple to use; you just brush your teeth and then apply the pen gel once you’re done. I’ll need to look into this further, to see what happens once you’ve used up all of the gel. Can you purchase just the pen or do you have to purchase a whole new toothbrush? I guess it depends on how long the pen lasts, aren’t you supposed to replace your toothbrush every 3 months or so? I knew a girl who said you should replace it as soon as the bristles start to lose their shape – her dad was a dentist so maybe that’s true. Either way, Influenster sent along some coupons for pens (like a lot of them actually…) along with a small tube of Colgate Optic whitening toothpaste (making a mental note to switch to this once I’ve used up my current brand) which helps in the whole process. I can only imagine if I used the mouthwash etc, although I think the mouthwash I currently use is supposed to be comparable to the Colgate Optic White mouthwash.

For now I’d say this is a good product, it’s simple and it works…. we’ll see how things go as I continue to use it. But for now… I’d recommend it.

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From Hot to Not

Well it seems that the Gentleman isn’t such a gentleman…

Maybe that isn’t the case, but it appears that whatever feelings he had aren’t there anymore because I haven’t heard from him. I was talking to a (guy) friend about this over the weekend. We’d been talking for almost 3 months… which is practically a relationship. I’m not really sure what happened with the Gentleman, prior to the last two weeks everything was hot. We communicated every day, saw each other pretty regularly and everything was non-stop. Then one week he was busy with work, a weekend came and we didn’t make plans (although still kept in touch) and then the next week came and I didn’t hear from him. Well I shouldn’t say I didn’t hear from him because I did, exactly three times. Two of which were in response to when I reached out to him. It’s funny, I think anyway. I got a text from him late Saturday night, reached out to him Wed (with little response) to find out he was sick and then again on Friday (to find out he was feeling better) and then nothing….

I reached out once after that and figured since I didn’t get a response it was safe to assume I wouldn’t be hearing from him again. It’s kind of disappointing, to say the least, considering before him I hadn’t really gone past an initial meeting with anyone. I told you, this dating thing is hard for me. I generally put in a lot of myself into a relationship and I’m not really sure that I have the heart to do it over and over again. My SIL keeps telling me to just go with it and have fun, date around. Meet people, go out, have fun! But in reality I have a hard time doing that because when I start to like someone I focus on that one person. Which kind of kills the whole “have fun and date around” thing. I find it difficult to share my attention now a days, when I was younger I could do it with no problem. I wasn’t always the most morally sound person, ya know? Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy receiving attention (ie: the Salesman or even the English kid) but ultimately my heart was with the Gentleman.

It’s annoying to think that things were going well between us and suddenly it’s over. And not know why. I wouldn’t be so concerned if he’d just come out and said “hey it’s not working” or something… but to not hear from him at all. Annoying. I fucking hate the fade out, I really do. I think it’s rude and inconsiderate. Plus, it doesn’t let me know what I did wrong (if anything) or give me the chance to fix it or make it (ME) better.

But… it is what it is, right?! Nothing left to do but move on with myself and keep going.

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I Think Hell Froze Over

I Gave My Number to a Stranger

A few weeks ago I was out with coworkers for a birthday. Three of us decided to keep the party going so we ended up in Wicker Park. Now if you’ve been following along you’ll know that I’m generally very shy when it comes to guys so the fact that this happened is kind of a big deal for me. I’d never been out with these two girls (aside from the occasional after work drink) and maybe that helped. Our first stop was Flat Iron, which was pretty nice, I like how they’ve changed it since it was the Blue Note. It seems bigger. Had a few drinks there and then decided to change locations. When we stepped outside we’d paused a moment so that my friend could light a cigarette and while doing so ran into two guys. I have a bit of a soft spot for a cute guy with an accent, specifically an English accent. Started talking to these guys and decided we were all going to go to the next bar together. The guy was kind of sweet, a bit young but still cute. they were in town for the weekend. One of them worked in NYC and the other was visiting. Had a few drinks and a few laughs before the night ended.

Standing in Line for the Bathroom

As the lights came on and the bar was calling last call I ran to the bathroom one last time. While I was waiting I caught this guys eye. Normally I’d look down or look away but I didn’t do that this time.  Instead I shot him a smile and he came over. Our introduction wasn’t long as the girl ahead of me walked out and it was now my turn to go in.

As I came out the guy was standing by the bar with his friends, he stopped me as came closer and asked for my number. I was kind of in a rush (bc I didn’t want to lose my friends or the cute English guy either) and gave the guy my number. “I’ll text you right now so that you have it, and won’t forget.” And sure enough as I walked away he text me. I’m not even sure what I was thinking at the time, because it’s all a bit foggy at this point. But the guy from the bar  (We’ll call him the Salesman) and I text back and forth for a while after that. He actually asked me to come over, but at 5 in the morning there isn’t much to do with someone you just met that doesn’t involve getting naked. So I politely declined and he said he’d text me later in the week.

And Then it Began…

I was actually surprised when the Salesman contacted me the following week and a bit confused. Like I said, things were a little foggy so I couldn’t really remember what he looked like. Although, by the name in my phone the Salesman was “hot”. I went a few days hoping that I hadn’t lied to myself about that, until he sent me a photo. Nope! I hadn’t lied, the Salesman was indeed hot and tall. 🙂 We went a couple of weeks talking just by text, with a few phone calls in between. Although the phone calls weren’t very long but more of a “just wanted to say hi before I went to bed” kind of thing. He’s a nice guy, although a bit of a partier. But he appears to be well off, definitely a bonus, and…. he’s my age. (shocker).

Catch up to last week, we met up on Wednesday for a drink (re: this article again) homeboy is just as good-looking in real life as he is in pictures, if not better. Although in talking to him in person I got a feeling that we’d be better off as friends than anything else…. and not just because he’s constantly “ON”, going out or planning on leaving the city in a year. Okay, well maybe partially because of all that.

The Kicker

There were two things that he’s said to me in the few weeks we’ve known each other that kind of threw me off… 1) he was willing to put in time until I was comfortable with him and 2) He wasn’t necessarily Boyfriend material but he’s willing to give it a try. The first night we met I told him I wasn’t looking for a booty call (although in all honesty if I do keep in touch with him that’s what he’ll end up being, I’m sure), and he said we’d just see how things go. He wasn’t looking for anything serious, but more of a casual relationship. Like many guys I’ve encountered he wanted to meet someone cool that he could hang out with and talk to, but not be overly committed to. He made a few comments about how he didn’t want to settle (down).

And interestingly, we talked about various ways that I should be approaching guys at the bar. Because I am an attractive woman, and shouldn’t be scared to do so. (Thanks Dr. Salesman)

This one’s been interesting… and I feel that it will continue to be interesting.

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The Mating Game

I’ve been sitting on this post for a while now… for some reason it’s been a challenge getting it put together and posted.

I know that I tend to write mostly about things going on in my dating life but really, at this point in my life, that’s the most interesting thing I have going on… I’m blaming the SLCS for this.

Anyway, before the last year or so I didn’t really put much effort into dating. I’d been dumped by a non-boyfriend and was pretty devastated over it. I pretty much spent 3 years of my life with someone only to be told “Sorry, I really like you but I found someone better” [Awesome] I can’t really talk shit about it because I knew what I was getting into, I was just blinded by the possibility that he might change his mind. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anyone to change more than I wanted him to change… I worry about him some times. But that is another story in itself.

I hung out with guys in the time since that ‘breakup’ but I didn’t really get close with anyone, mainly because I didn’t want to and because most of the guys were douchebags. I was trying to get over the douchebag phase. So here I am, almost one year (or is it two?) into actually paying attention to my love life and OMG Wtf guys WHY is dating so difficult as an adult? Was there some memo that went around that I missed about how I probably should have settled down at a younger age like almost everyone else I know because if not I’d end up old and alone? My mom has given up on me finding a “good man” so that I can settle down, now she’s just telling me to bring a baby home.”You don’t have to get married or have a boyfriend. AND You don’t even have to take care of the baby, I will… as if it were your little brother or sister.” [Yes, I’m serious.]

No, that’s not happening. I’m almost 100% sure that I don’t want kids, although she does have one point right… If I did have kids I would just bring them home (adoption ftw)!!

But I’m getting off track here. Dating is hard. Why did it get so hard and how the hell am I supposed to know who-what-where I’m going to find the one person for me?! I started paying attention to my online profiles, although there seem to be slim pickings there as I’m not interested in the guys who like me and visa versa. I’m beginning to think that maybe I should lower my standards a bit. But, the thing with that is that I don’t have anything ridiculous that would disqualify a man. If anything I’ve had to up my standards so that I can weed out the riff-raff (over the douchebags remember?)

Well I guess I can’t say it’s completely hard, I have been seeing a bit more of one guy but even so, I’m not sure WTF I’m doing or if I’m even doing it right. I’m so used to being a certain way with people because I know them, 97% of my past relationships were with people I had already known. I knew them inside and out and there was no questioning whether or not they thought I was crazy, clingy or just weird. But what I’m doing now, it’s completely different and I find myself wondering if I’m coming of crazy, clingy or just weird.

I read this article from the Thought Catalog that pretty much, well it didn’t really help ease my current aversion to relationship building but at least it let me know that I wasn’t the only one out there thinking “wtf”. As I’ve gone through various profiles and talked to guys it always comes down to one thing; looking for casual fun/relationship, nothing serious. What is that? So you’re looking for all of the perks of a girlfriend but not the title? Is it easier to just pick up and leave, if there’s no commitment, well yea of course. But what’s the point? Why not just advertise it as looking for a friend with high chance of getting it in at the end of the night!? At least then you’re honest about what you’re looking for, right? The whole “casual” thing is BS, I think anyway. Any guy I’ve spoken to who is looking for something more casual will speak to me and treat me like a girlfriend. I don’t want that, mainly because then I end up falling in love with you and you end up leaving me because I’m taking you at what you say, not what you’re doing. Sure, be nice to me but don’t be overly emotional when all you’re looking for is a booty call. What’s the point?! If I wanted something casual I’d go out to a bar and pick a random dude and get my jollies off. I’d be all over Tinder. But I’m not looking for something casual, I’m looking for something significant.

think I have that with the Gentleman from my Maybe It’s Me post… but I’m weary of it because of previous comments he’s made. (re: I may be clingy, crazy or weird) Wait, that’s worded weird, HE didn’t make comments about me being clingy, crazy or weird, but rather he made comments about the last girl he dated. Who oddly sounded like me in some respect, and I’m making a conscious effort to not BE that way. I think I actually like this guy so I’m trying not to mess it up. Which brings me to another question… when is it appropriate to have the whole “where is this going” conversation?!

In the end….