Guidance From the Other Side vol 1.

This is likely to turn into a four-part series, of sorts. Let me start by saying that I am a believer. I believe that there’s something more out there, a God if you will. Or maybe even Gods, I’m not entirely sure. But because of this I also believe that there are ‘others’ out there to help guide you through life. I am not necessarily a religious person, but more of a spiritual person and I’ve experienced some things that maybe others haven’t. Nothing too wild, but still, enough to make me rethink the ‘path’ that I was meant to be on.

That being said, I know a woman who’s been recommended to me for many years, I was hesitant to speak to her at first because while I wanted to know things, I didn’t really want to know. Plus, for a while, she was a bit hard to get a hold of so maybe that was a sign that we weren’t meant to connect, until now. I reached out to her recently to try and give it another go, and she responded. She classifies herself as a Paranormal Psychic Medium, I’ve never heard a negative thing about her and know people (who I hold to a high regard) who have gone to her for guidance.

So you get to ask 4 questions during your reading, and as I’m a bit scatterbrained and tried not to ask anything too specific I asked about the basics: career, romance, life/health, spirituality. The latter was more for guidance in the matter as I’ve been doing research but find I need more of a mentor in that regard, but more on that later. So here’s part one of my reading.

Regarding My Career

There is a need for a  change in career. It is encouraged that you pursue something that encourages you to be “artistic” or creative in some way. This needs to be something that is your true passion, or something that you find a great deal of interest in. You are drawn to it… but with that comes another message.  

A man will make this difficult for you. You should remain strong in your desire as it is where you are meant to be. However, this man is under 30, and difficult to understand. He is all over the place with his thoughts and processes. He is often seen as a quitter, but picks up again and says he has it all together. He is a teller of white lies… very ridiculous lies… exaggerates and it is obvious. He pretends to be friends with people and often talks behind their back and will throw anyone under the bus when he can for his own benefit. Be careful of this person… if he’s not in your life now than he will be in the near future. You will see good in them and try to look past what everyone else says or thinks. DONT

Right off the bat I knew what she meant, I like what I do and have worked hard the last 3-4 years to get where I’m at, and while I know that there’s still a lot of work to be done and so much more for me to learn about what I do now… it’s not something that I LOVE. I hear other people talk about what it is that we do and you can just tell that this is their life. This is what they want to do and this is what they thrive in, and I don’t know if it’s just the way that I’m wired or what, but I’ve never really felt any joy or passion in anything that I’ve done. I found something that I’m good at and that isn’t necessarily just a job, I can make something good come of this, but I still feel like something’s missing.

The line of work I’m in now can sometimes be creative, but I still feel that I lack a sense of drive and want to succeed. But again, maybe that’s just how I’m wired?

There is one thing that I really do love to do. My biggest fear (I guess) is that I’m afraid I’ll hate it once it becomes a job. And I can see that happening, I love to bake, but sometimes I find it so stressful that I realize that it’s not something I would want to do on the regular. I do it now because I enjoy it, I enjoy how the finished product can make someone feel, but sometimes the moments leading up to that can be stressful!

As for the guy… I’m not sure who that is. I had a few people in mind but as I read further I realized those characteristics didn’t apply to the people I thought it was. So I guess I’ll just be on the lookout! Until then, I have a lot to think about on what my future holds and what path I want to take… because unfortunately, it appears this is the first step in my journey to happiness.

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Sugar And Spice, And Everything Nice

I’ve been doing a lot of reading about Ketosis and going on a Keto diet, I couldn’t fully commit to it just yet so I’ve been focusing on low carb for now.

But the one thing I can’t get past is the sugar in my coffee. 😦 Every other meal or treat that I’ve had in the last week or two has been relatively perfect and planned out. Each meal is proportioned according to whatever calculations the lady at the gym gave me…

Except I miss the taste of my morning cup of coffee! I figured if I kept it to that ONE teaspoon of sugar a day then I’d be okay, but I know that things don’t really work the way they’re supposed to unless you fully commit. I replaced whole milk for Half & Half (although I’m thinking heavy cream might be better) and last night I went out and bought some Stevia. Convinced myself that it would be OK and that it’d taste normal… or at the very least that it was an acquired taste and that I’d get over it.

So this morning arrives and it’s time to make that precious cup of coffee…

And all I can taste is the artificial sweetener. I don’t even taste the half & half, which has always had more of a ‘chalky’ texture to me. So my question to the universe… is there a keto friendly sugar replacement that DOESN’T tastes like PURE sweetness or chemicals?! Or do all sugar substitutes taste the same and I just need to suck it up, or just give up coffee all together?!

I guess I can do that, I drink it more out of routine than the need for caffeine, and there’s always tea. I don’t think I need to sweeten tea, all of the stuff I have is herbal or berry flavored anyhow.

On the bright side, at least I’m only struggling with sugar in my coffee. My mom (who is on the same meal plan for support) is still struggling with the idea of just eating meat and veggies at every meal. The woman loves her rice, pasta, and tortillas. I told her not to worry about it, she can eat whatever she wants, but she said if I’m doing it then she can do it too.

Getting older is hard work

All the changes have happened and I’m in a place I never thought I’d be.

Over the last 6 months, I’ve gotten rid of basically everything I owned and replaced it, primarily with clothes but who’s really keeping track!?

I started my life journey in North St. Louis, Mo… moved to the NW Suburbs of Chicago at the age of 7 and lived there until I was in my early 30’s. I traveled to StL for holidays and family events and every time shook my head when asked: “when are you moving back!”. I dreaded visiting during the hot summer months, or any month really because I always thought it was hot to some degree! ha.

In 2015 I reluctantly moved to CA, where I spent 2 years working on a new career and spending time with family. After which I returned to Chicago, to less than enthusiastic old friends, for which I take most of the blame as I tend to be horrible at keeping in touch with people. And within 6 months or so decided that it just wasn’t for me anymore so I was moving “home” (albeit semi-reluctantly).

And now here I am, doing something I hate so very much: starting over.

The upside to this, however, is that my entire family is in StL so things have been pretty busy since I’ve been here. And, thanks to that career that I mentioned early I was able to do very adult things like buying a house!

I joined a gym (and have actually been going), I’ve changed my diet and I’m making changes.

Still not looking forward to that summer though, but I’m making the most of it because change is good… right?

I don’t know how I’ll end up using this blog, but I wanted to start writing again so we’ll see. I’ll likely bore you with the details of my meals and re-acquainting myself with the city that I first called home.

~ Ciao!

Guest blogger Opportunities!!

Daily Urbanista is looking for some guest bloggers to add to the calendar, if you’ve ever wanted to blog but don’t have the time to maintain your own blog then shoot DU an email!

guest blogger

 

If you don’t know who DU is then check the blog out and let us know what you think! You don’t have to live in Chicago, or even in the US, we have writers all over! Send an email to dailyurbanista(at)gmail(dot)com with your intro and some topic ideas and let’s get this ish rollin!

XO

New Year New Beginnings!

Resolution for 2016:

  1. Make better use of your personal blog (hello blog!)
  2. Figure out what the HELL I’m allergic to so that I can stop eating it (even though it’s probably something delicious)
  3. Complete at least SFDC 5 certifications (Woot! New job Ya’ll!!)

Keep it simple, keep it light.

A lot has happened since I was “laid off”, for starters I’m not in Chicago anymore!

There Comes a Time in a Girl’s Life…

Well… it’s happened. I moved!!!! And to celebrate I wanted to share this post I did for the Daily Urbanista.

8 Things That Happen When You Live Alone

I’ve spent so much of my 20’s in the city and have seen so many of my friends move that it only made sense to move where everyone else I knew lived. Plus, it’s Chicago… need I really say more? So here I am, in a small one bedroom apartment on the far north side and I’m realizing more and more just how much can change when you live alone.

1. Hi Couch, I love you

I’ve never spent as much time on my couch as I have this past month. There’s just too much Netflix to catch up on! It also doesn’t help that I am still living out of boxes so really the couch is the only place to be, except my bed. But then I’d be asleep all of the time.

when you live alone

2. There’s no such thing as Breakfast or Lunch or even Dinner.

 Cooking for one just seems silly and it takes way too much effort seeing as how you have to scale down recipes, otherwise you end up with a ton of leftovers. I have no problem cooking for 4+ people (that just makes sense), but cooking for one is a bit difficult. Not to mention the fact that I have to go grocery shopping and I still haven’t mastered the idea of buying what I’ll eat versus what I think I’ll eat. My last trip to the grocery store ended with me carrying out a gallon of milk, two boxes of cereal and a dozen eggs. Who says you can’t eat cereal three times a day?

when you live alone

3. It’s easier to just buy more dishes, right?

Since I don’t really cook you think it’d be easy to wash dishes as I go, but that just seems like a waste of water. And with the drought in CA everyone has to do his/her part to conserve, right?! This is also how I feel about laundry, but it’s okay, because I purge and donate at least twice a year.

when you live alone

4. Oh shit, spider!

I’ve never really been afraid of spiders (or most insects for that matter) but something about living alone and finding one in the closet just left me with an unsettling feeling. I don’t advocate killing spiders, but the other day I silently panicked and grabbed a shoe. I am truly sorry Mr/s. Spider

when you live alone

5. No Pants party

I used to joke about this all of the time, but now it’s actually possible. Most people I know lounge around in sweats and yoga pants, but I don’t own these things so what’s the alternative? A good ol’ NO PANTS party (for one obvi)!!! Please give me a 10 minute warning before you arrive at my doorstep, it would be greatly appreciated.

when you live alone

6. You are your own boss

Out late and want to sleep in? Go for it. Don’t feel like getting out of bed? Don’t worry about it. There’s no one to tell you not to, no one to pull open the blackout curtains you put up or to pull you out of bed by the ankle. This was a huge selling point for me, however that internal clock that makes you get up earlier the older you get has apparently started ringing. Who knew I’d eventually get out of bed before 10 AM on a weekend?

when you live alone

7. Sometimes you do need help

Yes, I have a small tool set with essential items. Yes, I know how to use a hammer without smashing my finger, and even have a small hand saw. Although I’m not entirely sure what I’ll need it for, but better to be safe than sorry right? But that doesn’t help me when I can’t get the 100+ pound box up the damn stairs and into my apartment so that I can use said tools. My first attempt was sad, and after talking to a coworker about it he offered to help me should I receive any other heavy packages. Luckily for him I had one coming the next day. It is SO much easier to move a wooden shelf when you have two people versus pushing it up a rounded staircase by yourself!

when you live alone

8. Open Door Policy

It’s just me… and the cats… do I really have to close doors?! I mean, I have the blinds pulled up in the living room so anyone can see in but the bedroom and the bathroom are out of view. So I’m safe, right? It didn’t hit me until a week or so in that I probably should be more careful with the windows considering I’m technically on the first floor. (oops)

when you live alone

So there you have it… I moved into the city and am now living alone. Definitely not what I thought it would be like, but let’s save that for another post?!

Movin’ on up!

Hello blog, remember me?

I’m going to start by saying: I am not a kid person, I think I’ve mentioned this before, I just don’t know how to handle them and get frustrated with the fact that they can’t talk. Once they know how to talk and poop on their own then we’re OK, but until then please keep your distance.

That being said, I’ve never had the desire to have my own children, despite constant pleas to “bring home babies” so that my mom can have grand kids. She has grand kids… five to be exact, two by blood and three by marriage… except they’re on the west coast. So I guess to her that doesn’t really count. I’ve thought about adoption, figured that would be the safest way to go about it – if I ever found someone to co-parent – I’d obviously get the kid at the age where s/he can talk and poop on their own.

I don’t know if I’ll ever get to adopt though, it’s expensive and while I could do it on my own (I suppose) it’d be better if I were in a stable/loving relationship, and who knows when the hell that’s going to happen. So I realized that the thing that saddens me most about my lack of wanting kids is that I won’t have anyone to pass things on to.

The idea of having heirlooms amazes me, and I’ve seen friends – coworkers – strangers who’ve had things handed down to them from their mother etc. But then again, I don’t really have any real possessions that anyone would want, but that’s neither here nor there. The thing that gets me the most is that there won’t be any mother/daughter bonding moments in the kitchen, around the holidays, or even just on a Friday night. So what the heck am I collecting all of these recipes for? Everything I’ve taught myself or learned along the way to adulthood, who have I been learning all of that for if I have no one to share it with?

I’m moving soon, and I’m kind of excited to finally be in my own home. Even more so, I’m excited to go through the boxes that my aunt gave me when she was cleaning out my Grandma’s kitchen. I was touched when we showed up that day and she told me I could have whatever else I wanted out of the kitchen. I’m not entirely sure what’s in the boxes other than some glasses, and plates that I loved. I also have some household items that belonged to my Grandma.I supposed I could pass all of these things on to my nieces, but it’s hard when they live so far away. I’d like to give them more than just money when I die, and hope that maybe they’ll pass my things on to their children. That will probably have to do.

IN OTHER news…

I have a sister (maybe, I’m not sure when she’s supposed to be born except for it’s going to happen this month). I’m 31 and I have a baby sister. When I was in high school I had a friend who ended up having a baby brother. I thought it was weird, her being 18 and all, that’s such a huge age gab. If only I’d foresee my own future, I wouldn’t have made comments (to myself or otherwise). I don’t know if I’ll ever meet this sister since I don’t have a relationship with my father. Sometimes I think it will be nice, to be able to get to know her and see her grow up. I’ve always wanted a sister, I wasn’t too happy when my parents came home with a baby boy. (ha – I love him now though, so we’re OK) If not, I have these thoughts – hopes – whatever that she’ll come find me one day. I’ll be going on 50 by the time she’s reached the legal age to make her own decisions. And that’s even if she’ll KNOW that I exist. Or maybe I’ll go find her, I’m not sure. I just hope she is a better person than the ones who raised her, and deep down hope that she’s just like me (or ‘worse’). History does tend to repeat itself! I mean my dad basically re-enacted his father’s life (who he despised btw).  I still don’t understand it, any of it.

Both of my brothers have told me that I should talk to him; the older is a bit more supportive of the idea that it’s not going to happen any time soon. I have much to get through myself before I even start to get into that whole side of things. It’s on my To-do List, although I think I’ve been saying that for a while, but for serious this time. Once I move and am more settled I’m going to therapy!  That aspect of my life has been okay, although lately I’ve found myself withdrawing more. It doesn’t help that I have two jobs, (three if you count the DU Blog) and little time to do anything else except eat and sleep. But I try to make time to go out and be around people, so I’m trying.

I kind of envy my brothers, and the fact that they’re able to maintain some semblance of a relationship with my father. They’re lucky that they weren’t around to see the demise of our relationship, they didn’t have to deal with things the way that I did. I envy them for that as well, it all took its toll, and I’m still picking up the pieces.

But I’ll get there… one day.