I’ve been doing a lot of driving the last few weeks, and I think it’s starting to take a toll on my car. Poor baby. I noticed today that it didn’t sound the same, I’m hoping it’s just me being paranoid. I have one more trip to make this coming weekend and after that I’ll need to change the oil again. Now, I don’t totally know what I’m doing under the hood, but I can be resourceful! That and my dad made sure I knew the basics. (foreshadowing maybe?) Everything else I can look up on the internet or cry about it to a couple of friends before I have to actually take it in to a professional.
So when I came home tonight I decided to take a peek;
I checked all of the basics and everything looked ok, so maybe I’m being paranoid and it’s really just the age of the car. She’s a 2008, so there’s bound to be some changes from wear and tear.
As I was standing there I was reminded of my time with Michigan and the VDub crew. That was a good and a bad time for me, good because I met a few cool guys (like Michigan) and got to hang out with a bunch of grease monkeys! Bad because I was dating a complete douche. (I don’t normally talk badly about ex boyfriends but this guy was… not nice) I think I’ve mentioned him somewhere within the “pages” of my book of ramblings. Basically he drank a lot, he was verbally mean and no one understood why we were together. Which I found out years later when Michigan and I started talking again, I kinda wish he would have said something to me back then… who knows maybe we’d gone off and lived happily ever after. LOL!
There were several reasons for the demise of this relationship but mainly these;
We were at a party (with a cousin of mine in attendance), I don’t remember what started it but we ended up locked in the bathroom fighting. I mean really fighting, I’ve gotten into disagreements before but I’ve never actually fought… with anyone. That’s not me, at all but with him it was different. He was the kind of guy to push and push until he got a rise out of you. Normally I would just say “you’re drunk, we’ll talk about it tomorrow” and walk away. Normally he’d say something profane and that was it. This time it was different, some how he’d cornered me in the bathroom and started arguing with me. There was yelling and fists against the marble countertop (his, not mine). When I begged him to stop he looked at me and asked if I’d rather he hit me. That freaked me out, he’d never gotten violent with me before this moment. I didn’t know how to react, but I stood there trying to figure out how the hell I was going to get out of the bathroom. I kept thinking ‘wtf his friends are on the other side of the door, can they not hear us?’ And then it happened, he’d gone from irate to apologetic. He stood there talking about how much of an idiot he was being and how things weren’t worth it. I thought it might actually be over, this was my moment to ease my way out, but I was wrong. When I wouldn’t accept his apology and wouldn’t let him touch me he became irate again. Only this time he pulled out his pocket knife. This wasn’t a cheap knife either… but he didn’t turn it on me, he turned it on himself. Went on and on about how much I wanted to use it against him (believe me as angry and scared as I was I wasn’t about to go to jail for murder or something). He threw the knife at me and tried to convince me to use it. And when I refused that was it. The fight ended as suddenly as it had started and when I walked out there was no one there except for a few people. I ran out of there as fast as I could.
You’d think that would have been the end right? It wasn’t. I didn’t talk to him for a few days, and he didn’t contact me. I had a going away party planned for him because he was moving south (another reason for our breakup) the of night of the party I showed up to talk to someone. I managed to go a good chunk of the night avoiding him. Until I went to leave, by then he was already drunk and stopped me right as I walked out. He asked me to move with him, so that we could spend the rest of our lives happy on a beach. When I brought up the last time we’d seen each other he acted like it didn’t happen. Belligerent and upset he started to go off on me. The thing that finally clicked was when he called me inconsiderate. (Funny, kind of) Everything he said prior to that was at least somewhat true (to an extent) but this… this was false, this infuriated. I told him he was an asshole and that it was over. After that I turned and walked to my car.
There were a lot of things that I was willing to put up with, but his actions at the party and his actions that night were unacceptable. I’ve seen my share of women in abusive relationships and when they came to me I’d always advised them to gtfo. What the hell was I thinking if I’d stayed in this relationship, so I wasn’t going to deal with it anymore.
Geez… this didn’t go the way I thought it would. Ah the things we put ourselves through. Here’s to being older and wiser about my personal life.