A letter to my future self.

I had a friend in high school who wrote me a letter once, we used to sit together for lunch when I was probably in my Sophomore or Junior year of high school. It was probably my Jr. year because I’m pretty sure he graduated after this letter. Anyway, he was a good guy, more on the shy and quiet side, which was the complete opposite of the other guy I sat with who was loud and overly flirty. I wasn’t that shy back in those days and I was still pretty open with my friends about things (much like I am in these blogs), so we all got along interestingly well despite our differences. 

One day, towards the end of the year, we’d decided that we were going to write “goodbye” letters to each other. Which I guess in a way may have been weird because they were guys and I was a girl.. but let’s not think too much into that! So, he came up to me and handed this neatly folded letter (because who didn’t fold their notes into cool shapes and stuff?!) and told me to read it when I got home later that day. It even had my name drawn on the front so he really put some thought into this thing… 

You want to know what will happen someday?

Someday you will be sick and tired of being afraid of dating again. After all you don’t know what type of asshole you may have on your hands once you get to know him, but your search for someone has matured on this later day. The guy you’re watching doesn’t put his arm around you, doesn’t poke and tease you (well, maybe a bit), he won’t try to put the moves on you, he’s a bit shy and awkward with words when around you, but most importantly he is interested in what you think and listens to what you say. He’s not a partier and not much of a dancer. He’ll like shopping and enjoys all movies and types of music. Chances are that he will be exactly what you were looking for all along but never knew you wanted it. You’ll have a hard time finding him, mind you, because he’s just as afraid to date as you are. He’ll avoid you because in order to go on dates you’ve got to have “cool” things, and he probably won’t have much to brag about. He’ll mainly be afraid to date because he doesn’t know if you will be a bitch once he really gets to know you. 

The right guy will be as frightened to find you, as you are to find him. Just keeps your eyes and your heart open. I guarantee you’ll have your share of bumps and bruises on your search, but how else will you find out what type of guy you don’t want to date? 

I sometimes wonder about this, I have a general idea of what kind of person I want to date, but what if I’m completely wrong? What if the person I’m meant to find is the complete opposite of me? What if we’ve already met, but I’ve written him off because he doesn’t like dancing or clubs or bars or going out or the occasional trip to the ghetto of IN for a night at the strip club? SO many “what ifs”…. so many questions and not enough answers.


2 thoughts on “A letter to my future self.

  1. I don’t know what the answer is, other than I don’t think we’re “meant” to be with any one person.

    The things you mentioned (dancing, clubbing, going out, etc.) are probably pretty important to have a successful relationship, because if he doesn’t like doing those things, you’ll be cut off from your social life. But at the same time, shared interests are not the same thing as compatibility. It’s a mix of the two that makes relationships succeed. (In theory.)

    • I’m not even sure that *I* believe in the whole “meant to be” theory, although it’s nice to think about. But there’s so much to take into account with that business. Definitely agree with your last statement though and am not at all opposed to some compromise.


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