To Friend, or Not to Friend…

I don’t think we make this distinction enough in our dating careers. Can you be friends after a breakup? Sure you can. But it doesn’t have to happen immediately after the breakup and certainly not for every person. Some deserve it more than others, but it’s just not going to happen that same day, week, or month. – It’s Not Being Friends, It’s Being Friendly

This topic came up on a date once… I don’t remember quite what lead to this but my answer was not the answer he was looking for, totally striking out on these dates.

Yes, there is definitely a difference between being Friends with an Ex and being friendly, generally I lean more towards the friendly side of things because I try to keep things on a happy note. I’ve been ‘lucky’ enough that things ended on relatively good terms with the majority of guys I’ve dated so after the appropriate amount of time we did remain friends. That’s not to say that we’re hanging out all of the time but there is an occasional meet up just to catch up or a chat on facebook. As far as I’ve been able to tell they’re not sticking around to get me back. HA! Not that one or two haven’t tried before, I’m pretty sure I’ve even mentioned it before (ahem tweety bird) but those guys generally pop in and then immediately disappear again.

My very first official boyfriend- who I dated back in 8th grade- has a birthdays a few days before mine. Every year I’ll get a brief message from him (and the other way around).  I’m 30 now, so do the math… every year since the 8th grade! I guess that just tells you how awesome I am, that someone would still think of me at least once a year. 😉

It all just depends on the relationship we had and how emotionally invested I was, there are a few guys who I hope I never run into again, but for the most part if I were to see an ex on the street he’d probably get a hug and a smile.

I understand that some people may not be OK with that, and that relationships are about compromise, but it’s hard to say that I’d cut off all communication with someone over these things.  Honestly, I would never ask a significant other to end a relationship, unless it was seriously harmful, or toxic. The way I see it, you have people in your life for a reason, as long as you’re honest about the relationship and respectful it shouldn’t be an issue. This applies to friends as well as exes… if you (or they) can’t respect me, I cannot respect them and in turn cannot respect you. And that would suck for everyone.

 

 

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