Apparently there’s a new trend with guys, maybe not really new but definitely not something I’ve ever experienced… instead of the ever popular one night stand, there is now the possibility that you find yourself involved in a one night relationship.
Yea kind of weird, I admit, even for me! But it seems (at least this is what I’m telling myself) that I recently found myself in a one night relationship. In one evening every word, every action is one resembling that of what would happen in a committed relationship. I was thrown off by the evening as a whole and found myself falling into this emotional state, that I hadn’t actually felt in a really long time. Personally, at this point considering we’d only just met, I would have preferred a full fledged one night stand!
I was talking to a friend yesterday about my date with Mr. Tinder, because I’m still perplexed by the experience, and she said she’s found herself in not one, but two “one night” relationships. Although lucky her, they were actually a week or so long.
In my case Mr. Tinder contacted me on (what else?) Tinder. He was actually the first (and really only) one who sent me a message that lead to an actual conversation. I know right, who does that anymore? We hit it off rather well, I thought, and eventually ended up meeting. As stated previously the night went well, we started off at one bar and before I knew it 2.5 hours had passed and he’s asking me if I want to continue on. Um, yes please… a) you’re gorgeous b) you’re a total sweetheart and c) we’re actually talking about important things! It’s been a while since I’ve done that, aside from conversations with my closest friends. And he had me feeling all…
So we end up at another bar down the street (which by the way I was really digging and had hoped to go there again sometime but now I’m thinking I should wait a while – blog to come?!) and hung out there a while, another hour and a half or so. He’d mentioned a couple of times that he was more of a homebody than anything, which is fine I’m not looking for a total rager, and that he hadn’t been out this late in a while. In fact he wanted to keep going once the 2nd bar closed. Considering I didn’t have any backup plans (NTS; think ahead) I had to ask around to see who was doing what. He’d stated a couple of times that he wanted to see me the following day, unfortunately I had plans with a friend that were probably going to take the entire day but I told him I’d see what I could do. If I couldn’t do brunch, then we should try lunch, if i couldn’t do lunch then we should do dinner. We stood on the corner a bit but I didn’t get any responses so we ended up walking a block or two down and ended up at his place.
I know, you’re probably thinking that this is where I failed, some might argue that I didn’t get a second date because I went home with him. I don’t necessarily follow that train of thought (sorry mom!). If things feel right – well then things feel right. Now this isn’t to say that I go home with every Tom, Dick or Jane because I don’t. But I definitely think that if you like someone enough, you should give it a whirl, plus it helps determining whether or not you’re compatible with someone on more than just an emotional level. No one likes to put in all of that effort only to find out there’s no real chemistry there. While doing some online reading I stumbled upon this blog, which explains 9 Reasons why you SHOULD have sex on the first date and thought ‘Awesome, this is totally how I feel about this whole thing’. There’s nothing worse than ‘slut shaming’ all because I’m a little “forward thinking” (as a friend of mine likes to say), but this is probably better left for another entry..
That being said, I should note that things were pretty PG13, maybe bordering R, but not really – honest.
This is where it gets, interesting, so I have this thing about waking up super early when I’m in a new place. I don’t really feel comfortable in new surroundings and it takes me a bit to realize where I am. This time was no different, I woke up around 5 in the morning. But this time it was different, I found myself intertwined with another person, spooning.
Not just regular spooning though, but heads nuzzled together, holding hands and fingers intertwined. That is not how I spoon, if ever at all, someone that I’m not in a LTR. I adjusted myself to put some space in between us but he immediately pulled me right back and any time I’d try to get up he’d say “where are you going?”, “Don’t leave yet”, “stay”.
Before I realized, it was 11:30 am.
ELEVEN THIRTY, that’s like 6 hours of spooning- but hardcore spooning; warm breath on the back of my neck, hand holding, sweet whispers and kisses on the head. These are not things you do with someone you’re not emotionally intimate with, are they!? At the very least, these are not things that I do with someone in this situation. There was even… pillow talk and again he repeated that he couldn’t wait to see me later. This is where I failed, myself, because at this point I thought ‘this is really great and it’s been SO long since I’ve felt this comfortable with someone that I could really get used to it… even with his big ass dog in the bed.’ With every “this is great”, “I’m a lucky man”, “best place to be with my girl and my dog” comment he made, the deeper I fell.
I left that morning completely enamoured, but not without one last kiss and a “call me later” with the agreement that I would be returning, at some point that day.
So I thought things went well! We talked throughout the day, unfortunately my day plans ran a bit late so one of my final messages to him was asking him to make an appearance with me at a friend’s birthday. It’d only be quick because I didn’t want to keep him out late two nights in a row and have him thinking that I stayed out until dawn all of the time. His last message to me was after midnight saying he’d fallen asleep, ended with a frowning face.
And I never heard from him again. (Lol)
So what was the point, to build up some emotional relationship -albeit brief- only to end it abruptly and without a word?
Jesus Tinder.. what have you done…? He had his cuddle and moved on, apparently. Me? I’m left wondering WTF.