I think it’s interesting how my view on meeting people off of the internet has changed. Not even 5 years ago I would have been all about it, but now I’m content with just having a written relationship with someone I’ve never met.
When I was younger I met random people from the internet pretty often, in hindsight that probably wasn’t a good a idea and I got pretty lucky that none of them chopped me up into a million pieces. But, if I was bored I’d just pop online and see who was free. If there was a party going on we’d go or meet up… sometimes we’d just meet at the local Denny’s. In fact I’m pretty sure 95% of the friends I have today are somehow related to the internet. It was a crazy time back then!
But now… the idea of meeting someone off of the internet is daunting, especially since this seems to be the new and cool way to meet your next significant other. And today I was thinking of the different steps I’ve taken in the whole get to know you process.
Before if I thought you were cool and you weren’t psycho you’d get my number after a few chats (and sometimes that first chat if either of us needed a ride to the party LOL). You were immediately allowed access to my internet life and basically my real life. But now, if I allow you into any part of my cyber world, it means something. And I’m often wondering; how soon is too soon?
Example; last summer when I started using O.K.Cupid for its intended purpose I met a guy, we’ll call him Red Beard. Red Beard and I exchanged messages on okc for maybe a week before exchanging phone numbers. I was even hesitant to give him my number but figured that’s what you do! Things went well over the phone, which is amazing in itself because I’m not much of a talker so if you can keep my on the phone and engaged for more than 5 minutes… well you’re pretty special. We spent about a week or two getting to know one another over the phone before he brought up the idea of going on a date. Which I really didn’t mind, and then finally we met. It wasn’t awful, but it wasn’t great either, so after that I wasn’t really sure where things would go. We spent more time talking on the phone and during one of our conversations Twitter and Facebook were brought up.. while on the phone we add each other and start to go through both account piece by piece. He even did a Google search to see what he’d pull up. Thankfully most of my info is buried in the third or fourth page, the first couple containing information about some singer and an actress. But eventually he found other things and read into those as well, completely involving himself in every avenue of social media he could. It wasn’t so bad at first, we still had a good phone relationship and things via the internet were ok as well. It wasn’t until our third date that I realized Red Beard just wasn’t the guy for me.
He ended up being the jealous and clingy type, and I didn’t like that! After our parting I noticed some internet back lash, which I didn’t really appreciate and ended up blocking him from everything that I thought he could have access to.
I realized at that point that I shouldn’t be giving out all of that “personal” info so soon! The next time around I was going to actually get to know the person before letting him into my cyber life. That and let’s face it, I can be rude and vulgar and very open about a lot that I wouldn’t just tell a stranger. (Thank goodness for filters and groups other wise I’d need three of each profile! Friends-coworkers-family) Facebook is kind of a free for all with these three groups, although I’m careful of which coworkers I add. 😉
I find myself back online trying to find love! Obviously, if you’ve been following along, you’d know that. And I am currently chatting it up with a couple of gents. Strictly via text message…. and I am ok with that. We’ve been chatting a while now, one guy hasn’t really brought up the idea of meeting. It’s been briefly talked about, but there’s no rush. Not until I’m ready to stop being a baby (mainly I blame Red Beard) and meet up. Which I completely appreciate.
Well, because we’ve been talking for a while now, I’ve decided (still somewhat hesitantly) that it’s time to move our relationship to the next level…. and we’ve recently become Facebook friends. He also found me on Instagram, but I’m not sure about anything else. If he has taken the time to look me up he hasn’t said anything to me about it.
Which brings me to this… if you start opening the lines of communication and allowing someone to see this side of you, would you then tell them about how you blog and how they may (or may not) have been mentioned in said blog? I feel like that’s a whole other topic that I may have to consider.
I feel like this is a weird romcom in the making!
And I am hoping that at the very least we remain friends (his hope as well) and I don’t regret opening up like this, again. The last thing I want is another Red Beard incident!