You know that saying “The grass is always greener on the other side”? I think it’s a load of shit… I mean really? I’m pretty sure that 9 out of 10 of my exes have at some point come back and attempted to make amends by telling me that they were wrong. If you can’t appreciate what you have, when you have it, don’t think that you get to walk in and try again. I’m not saying that I’m this amazing girl, but I can be a pretty great girlfriend when I want to be. But I guess that can’t be completely true since I’m 30 and single. I’m not taking all of the blame though, just most.
If I could write a book about my life it would revolve around these tragic romances I’ve had. Because just about every real relationship I’ve had has been some tragic love affair. I’m sure at some point bits and pieces of these tragic love affairs will come out in this blog, because let’s face it… I have issues letting go of things. (yea… remember that comment a few posts back about finding help?!) The less meaningful relationships are the ones that end up like a Bruno Mars song, generally the ones that have somehow pushed me away or just ended because one (or the other) found something seemingly better. If it was the guy, he’d come back anywhere between 6 months to a couple of years always with an “I’m sorry about what happened between us. I was young and dumb and didn’t realize what I had” and my all time favorite line “every girl since you has been crazy, I miss you”. Not going to lie, there is a part of me that feels some sense of satisfaction when receiving this call (because it’s always a call, I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone do this face to face). But on the other hand, depending on the person and length of time I’m frustrated. WHY do people do this?
And you know it’s usually at a time when things are going well for yourself and you’re happy, and here they come to throw a wrench in and fuck it all up. I sometimes have a hard time not letting these things get into my head.
What is it about the past that sometimes draws us in, even if we know it’s not good for us?