I have a tendency to put myself in situations that aren’t necessarily the best for me, usually having to do with a guy. I realize that it’s unhealthy and that I should stop, and I have been trying… but I think I need more help than I’m willing to accept or admit to. Meaning, professional. Subconsciously I’m seeking out the wrong relationships for the wrong reasons, this could be caused by the plethora of daddy issues i have. But, I’m not a professional so I can’t say for sure.
I’ve recently realized that I still have feelings for an old flame, and it’s killing my attempt at rebuilding a friendship. Between the both of us we make awful relationship decisions… i see a lot of myself in him and it kills me.
After 5 or so years I thought the feelings had subsided, but I finally admitted to myself that within the last couple of weeks nothing’s subsided. I just didn’t think about the feelings I had because I didn’t have a visual reminder. But it’s summertime which means more social outings, and a constant reminder of what was and what is (or isn’t in this case).
So yes… time to open up the yellow pages and find the name of a good therapist so that I can work all of this crazy out. It’s been going on far too long.