I need to figure out if I can export the blogs posted on Myspace, before they switch over and everything’s lost forever and ever into the deep, dark internet abyss.
==== Dated May 27th, 2009
You can’t say that just because you are nice to someone, that you treat them well. Sometimes it’s more than the little gestures that you find yourself performing. Sometimes it’s about the big ones… the ones that you don’t normally do or don’t normally think about. Things that seem big to you but little to most everyone else. It’s more than just the little things…
and almost always it’s about making sure you keep doing them because once you stop, all sorts of stuff can happen. It shouldn’t matter how much time passes or how well you’ve grown to know the person… keep telling them that they mean something to you. Keep telling them that they have pretty eyes or a nice smile or that you like their personality. Keep opening the door or letting them go ahead of you, or picking up whatever it is that fell on the floor. Don’t stop doing theses things… just because time has passed.
Sometimes I want only to hear the little things that I’ve heard before but almost fear I will never hear again. Yes, I understand to say ‘never’ is a long shot because you never really know how things will turn out. But when life goes as it has gone for me… you begin to be discouraged. You begin to wonder what it is that you’re doing wrong when you don’t see yourself getting what it is that you want.
I want to hear someone tell me that they love me again, tell me that they like me, need me, or how they think that their life has changed (for the better) since I’ve come around. I want to hear the things that inappropriate people have been telling me my entire life… but I want to hear them from someone who matters. From the ‘appropriate’ person…
There is a part of me that often wonders what the hell I’m doing with my life that I haven’t really gotten to where I want to be. It’s hard for a person like me to not think about what ‘went wrong’ and so on… it’s hard for a person like me to do much of anything in regards to that aspect of life.
3+ Years later and I find myself thinking these very thoughts, funny.