I’ve reached an age…

..where most people seem to be moving forward with their (personal) lives, they’re in stable/committed relationships, getting engaged/married and having kids. With that being said, I saw a friend tweet this yesterday evening:

“Everytime I come across the FB profile of someone I went to HS with who now looks like a soccer mom, I die a little bit inside.”

While it may not be the same exact feeling/meaning, I feel that this was the day’s theme. I saw another friend post a blog entry earlier regarding the same subject and I found myself chatting with someone else about it as well.

I’ve gone many, many years saying that I don’t want my own (biological) children, but recently I wonder if that’s still true. Don’t get me wrong, I feel (pretty strongly) that I would make an awful mother, and that has a lot to do with why I’ve always said no. But there are moments when I feel that maybe, given the right partner and the right situation, that it wouldn’t be so bad. That maybe I wouldn’t screw my child up as badly as I think I might… or that the world isn’t as bad a place as we sometimes think, so it would be okay to bring another life into it. Or at the very least, help someone build a better life for him or herself. Because yes, while I said I wasn’t sure about having my own biological children, if I were to raise another human being I would highly consider adoption. 

There’s just SO MUCH to consider, about myself, what I have to offer someone else, whether or not I’d be mentally/financially/emotionally capable of providing for someone else. Essentially taking another person’s life into my own hands and molding them into a productive member of society… would I be able to do that? Does anyone else have serious doubts about their skills as a (future) parent? And do you let that deter you from moving forward with “that” aspect of your life?



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